NEWTON, MA—Begging her Thanksgiving visitors to settle down, take a deep breath, and attempt to take the excessive highway, native mom Martha Cantor urged members of the family this week to please chorus from preventing the turkey once more this yr. “Okay, everybody, I do know all of us have our variations, however simply this as soon as, I’d wish to get by a single Thanksgiving dinner with out someone getting all labored up and screaming on the fowl,” mentioned Cantor, including that she additionally hoped folks would hold their ingesting to a accountable stage and chorus from saying imply issues in an effort to get beneath the pores and skin of the large, 25-pound Butterball. “Final yr, Uncle Jim blacked out and known as the turkey an ‘effing fool,’ and the yr earlier than, Grandpa stood up, accused the turkey of being a socialist, and nearly knocked the poor factor proper off its serving platter. Nicely, this yr we’re going to go across the desk and every say one factor we love concerning the turkey. Should you don’t suppose you possibly can’t handle that, then perhaps it’s best to ask your self why you bothered to journey right here for Thanksgiving within the first place. That is what the vacation is all about.” At press time, a crying Cantor reportedly known as 911 after her enraged son tore into the turkey, and a chunk of it lodged in his throat, almost choking him to dying.