Man Inspects Perimeter To Discover Most Weak Entry Level To Hamburger

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CHICAGO—Turning the hulking fortress of a sandwich slowly in his palms to seize a 360-degree view of his goal, native man Branden Zielinski was reportedly conducting an intensive perimeter inspection Thursday to seek out probably the most susceptible entry level to his hamburger. “Jesus Christ, it is a powerful one—I’m an skilled, however these layers of lettuce and cheese are mainly impenetrable,” stated Zielinski, who set the burger again down on his plate and caught a knife into the center of the bun earlier than aborting the try and choosing it again up once more. “I’m tempted to dive proper in, however I do know I have to transfer cautiously and intentionally in order to not get damage. One mistaken transfer and wham—it could possibly be completely over. Sauce in every single place.” At press time, Zielinski was shopping for his reconnaissance operation extra time by investigating the fries.


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