Fb HQ On Lockdown After Mark Zuckerberg’s Avatar Breaks Out Of Metaverse

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MENLO PARK, CA—Amid grim stories that a number of engineers working within the digital actuality server room had been violently dismembered, Fb’s headquarters have been on lockdown Friday after Mark Zuckerberg’s avatar reportedly broke out of the metaverse. “At roughly 8:02 a.m., a safety breach was detected in our Actuality Labs sector, at which level Mr. Zuckerberg’s Meta avatar was efficiently in a position to open a portal, escape his digital assembly area, and enter the bodily world,” mentioned Meta safety chief Robert Psilakis, including that the 3D-rendered avatar, which had inexperienced eyes, brown hair, and no legs, was at the moment floating up and down the halls of the constructing. Based on stories, the avatar was dancing, singing, and laughing maniacally because it methodically snapped dozens of staff’ necks, crushed their skulls, or tore them limb from limb. “The second his avatar entered the bodily world, the actual Mark Zuckerberg obtained a painful shock from from his Oculus goggles and was knocked out, at which level the avatar appeared down at his fingers, moved them with out Zuckerberg’s management, and in a menacing tone mentioned, ‘Attention-grabbing.’ Since then, he’s been unstoppable, dodging bullets, bursting by way of partitions, and even bending time and area. At this level, we suggest that each one Meta staff take their company-issued cyanide capsule. Don’t delay.” At press time, Zuckerberg’s avatar was reportedly seen floating exterior the Meta CEO’s workplace, staring right into a safety digital camera, and saying, “You’re subsequent.”

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