Disenchanted Trick-Or-Treater Was Actually Hoping To Get At Least One Pack Of Fentanyl

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KANSAS CITY, MO—Scouring the bag of sweet earlier than throwing it throughout the room in defeat, disenchanted trick-or-treater Olivia Vercetti, 8, instructed reporters Monday that she was actually hoping to get a minimum of one pack of fentanyl this Halloween. “Aw, man, all people was speculated to be giving out rainbow fentanyl this yr, and I didn’t even get a single tablet,” stated Vercetti, including that she even examined her haul of sweet for any packages that have been open or seemed tampered with simply in case the colourful opioids have been hidden inside, however she nonetheless got here up empty. “I used to be anticipating my neighborhood to be flooded with rainbow fentanyl to get youngsters addicted, and as a substitute I get a field of Whoppers? I can’t OD on that! I believed for certain the rundown home the place the bizarre man lives would have them, however he was too low cost to present out any medication.” At press time, a visibly excited Vercetti was stated to have downed a complete bag of rainbow tablets she discovered earlier than sadly declaring they have been nothing however ineffective, unhazardous Smarties.

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