WILSON, WY—As Humvees and Halliburton tanks rolled throughout the state’s borders below cowl of darkness, former Vice President Dick Cheney reportedly commanded a full-scale invasion of Wyoming early Tuesday in an effort to bolster his daughter’s reelection probabilities. “The corrupt campaigns in Wyoming’s congressional major present this rogue state can’t be allowed to proceed working with out a swift and resolute navy response,” Cheney mentioned in a press assertion that heralded the launch of Operation Bison Freedom and brushed apart considerations about attainable dying tolls, pointing to satellite tv for pc proof that confirmed nuclear websites constructed below the “tyrannical rule” of Wyoming Gov. Mark Gordon. “Regime change will unquestionably assist unfold democracy to the freedom-loving folks of Wyoming and additional advance our capacity to dealer an enduring peace between North and South Dakota. In actual fact, I’m positive the streets of Cheyenne will erupt into pleasure on the metropolis’s liberation. To the folks of Wyoming, I say this: Your state is wealthy with sources and human expertise. With the assistance of Rep. Liz Cheney, you may construct a way forward for stability, self-determination, and prosperity that can final for years to return.” At press time, Cheney denied claims that 257 Wyoming civilians had died in an in a single day raid to maintain polls open for a number of extra hours.