Some individuals love birds, contemplating them a fantastic and majestic creature, a logo of freedom and exploration. I’m not a type of individuals. Most components of their anatomy freak me out, and the feel of each single a part of their physique is disagreeable. Not solely that, I’m allergic to down, so I can’t even expertise the enjoyment and luxury their feathers may supply me in a pillow. I perceive that they’re an essential a part of the ecosystem, and I don’t want they might all disappear, however I would favor if most of them didn’t come close to me for many of my life.
I additionally really feel that birds are rather more harmful, and sharper, than they’re given credit score for. When push involves shove, they’re adorned with a sequence of blades that would do critical injury. As a thought train, due to this fact, in case a struggle with the birds ever emerges sooner or later, listed here are 15 birds and the way badly I believe every one among them may mess me up in a fist-slash-talon battle.
The dove is an animal of peace. Sadly, that is an article of violence, and the dove couldn’t be extra unwell geared up for it. The ability of its symbolism and sweetness will lend it no quarter when I’m going at it with fists of fury, leaving it a white smear on the battleground.
The lowly pigeon, the footsoldier of the inevitable fowl military. They do current extra hazard to me than the dove, however they’re nonetheless, to their downfall, the right measurement and form to be punted. They’re additionally, so far as I can inform, as dumb as a bag of moist sand. All you’d need to do is throw one french fry to distract them after which flip them right into a cloud of feathers with a swift kick.